|"The prisoner running as the guards shoot at him, believes for a moment that he is free."|
As an athlete whose game has been shackled this season past, I have gently let it be known that I have a slight preference to not re-join the Portland Trail Blazers. While my discourse has been most civil and reasonable, this has led to the harshest recriminations…including a column from one journalist who advises I be left to rot! (This is an unlikely eventuality; as a sun-wizened Mallorcan, my flesh has the consistency of Iberian jerky.)
For any confusions regarding my status activations, I blame the English tongue! To wit, view this interchange between Coach Nate McMillan and myself.
Myself: With all due respectiveness, I would like to engage in more activities on the parquet.
Coach McMillan: I’ll do my best to give you more court time.
But in the endless convolutions of legal scholars and basketball coaches, THIS is what the coach actually meant:
“As a conveyance of our oral agreement, I will give you due consideration regarding the right, title and claim, for playing time including the attached privileges of dribbling, shooting, passing, and seeking steals from the opposition along with your entitlement's full power to turn the ball over to the opposition, suck, and ogle opposing cheerleaders all within the context of my existing offensive schematics which will rarely utilize the skills you feel you possess to the greatest advantage, the opinions of you and/or your agent to the contrary notwithstanding.”
Court cage by Jake Stangel,
fallen matador by REUTERS.