Lascivious Seating Arrangements

As a child lounging on Mallorca's sun-kissed sands, I received a fine education. Por ejemplo, I oft overheard grizzled fishermen tell the tale of Bernadino de Mendoza’s ambassadorial appointment to England.

It was the late 1500s, and Mendoza was shocked to attend an English church where women and men sat together in the pews. After the Spaniard vented his outrage to an English nobleman, the Englishman retorted:

Such an seating arrangement would only be unthinkable in Spain. For there, men cannot rid themselves of lascivious thoughts even in the holiest of places!

Ah, how the fishermen chortled!

For my part, I sometimes wonder how we players must carefully attend to a diagramming while choreographed undulations of the most intriguing sorts play out on the parquet. Is it unseemly to do the sidelong glancing? Perhaps.

Naturalamente, my mates and I are prohibited from interluding with these whirling sylphs. So why do they bat their lashes and call my name? Why, one non-ingenuous ingenue even chucked me under my bestubbled chin!

But chuck me not, Sirens of the hardwood. For there are countless tales warning of the danger of our heart’s desires. 

Has no Blazer Dancer heard of Tithonus? He was a Trojan prince who the goddess Eos fell in love with. Besotted by the handsome youth, Eos begged Zeus to give Tithonus eternal life.

Her wish granted, Eos realized the error— she had failed to ask for eternal YOUTH as well! And so over the years, Tithonus transformed into an increasingly decrepit hobgoblin until the gods finally took pity on him.

Adición: I asked two Blazer Dancers if they knew of Tithonus. They stared in wonderment, until one of them spoke: “Isn’t that something? He still can’t speak English!


  1. good job against the spurs and the nuggets!!! GRACIAS for playing well!!! we really appreciate your effort

  2. Another great post. I'm curious, did the chucking of YOUR bestubbled chin actually happen? Lol

  3. It is not outside the realms of possibilities!

  4. Amigo! I too have been witness to a plentitude of winsome glances directed at your backside! It is best to sublimate these distractions of Eros El Machatero!

  5. That may be the finest comment this blogging has elicited!

  6. are you excited for your game against jerryd bayless and the raptors????

  7. hey good job in the game against the hornets!!!! i was there and you were AMAZING :) what happened to your hand? are you excited for the break?

  8. agreed - that may be the best comment posted ever here.


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