5.1.11

Plural Nouns and Houston Fans

Upon my arrival in Portland two years past, LaMarcus Aldridge took me on a motor-coach tour of the region. Already homesick, the cockles of my Mallorcan heart were warmed upon spying a host of water vessels anchored  on the Willamette River.

Look, LaMarcus,” I cried. “A school of ships!

LaMarcus smiled indulgently, and informed me that a grouping of ships was called a “fleet.”

Sensing he was pulling wool over my orbs, I asked, “Then what is a fleet of sheep called?

A flock,” he replied.

And a flock of attractive women?

LaMarcus paused. “A bevy!” he exclaimed. He continued on, relating that a bevy of wolves is a pack, but that a pack of cards is not a bevy. Further, he said that a pack of thieves (or sports agents) is called a gang, and a gang of angels is called a host, while a host of porpoises is termed a shoal. A host of cows is a herd, and a herd of children is called a troop, and a troop of partridges is termed a covey, and a covey of stars is called a galaxy, and a galaxy of ruffians is called a horde, and a horde of rubbish is called a heap, and a heap of bulls is called a drove, and a drove of drunks is called a mob, and a mob of whales is called a school (“Back to school?” I wondered), and a school of worship is called a congregation, and a congregation of engineers is called a corps, and a corps of robbers is called a band, and a band of locusts is called a crowd, and a crowd of NBA players is called an elite.

“Ah, finally a word I recognize!” I cried in relief. 

But I could not resist one more question. “And what is a grouping of fans from Houston be called?

IDIOTS!” LaMarcus responded, driving onwards.

A tip of the beret to
Charles William Bardeen.
Top foto from

3 comments:

  1. I have disliked the fans from Houston ever since they chanted "Portland sucks" in the first round of the playoffs a couple years ago. Uncalled for, poor sportsmanship. Just weak all around.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The speaking of English is improving, illusory Rudy, my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  3. HaHa, I have enjoyed your musings and look forward to reading more of the like now that I have found it.

    ReplyDelete

I welcome your civil commenting.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.