6.5.10

Of Faux Hidalgos & Sergio's Power Ranking

A flash of the news— Amare Stoudemire is a scholar of the classics! Behold his support of those who speak Latin:
Upon thoughts of a second nature, there seems to be some confusion. Stoudemire’s conflation of Jews, Latins, and Latinos made me sorely aware of some lack of my own education. Thus, I have searched the Internet’s most unimpeachable source on such matters, namely ESPN’s Latino Power Rankings. (Incidentally, I am ranked woefully low thereon!)
Yet the Latino Power Rankings reveal no word on these matters! Neither is there a power ranking for Jewish players (e.g. Omri Casspi) nor Latin ones (Andrea Bargnani). Thus, Stoudamire is engaged in a political statement of some kind here, one in which the Sun hopes we can divine his meaning. Such a statesman!

Thus, I began analyzing the subtext of the cryptic tweet. My theory is that Stoudemire may be expressing solidarity with Mexicans in Arizona, who feel oppressed by the area’s new immigration laws. So if you will indulge me, here is an illustrative (and true!) parable on the matter:
James Reavis was a magnificent forger of the late 18th century.  Reavis’s claim to counterfeit fame came from his invention of a Spanish nobleman named Miguel de Peralta. The imaginary Spaniard was given an elaborate family tree and Reavis concocted documents for him that claimed 10 million acres in what is now Arizona for the don’s descendants.

Reavis then went from library to archive to library in Mexico and Spain, where he planted his false wills, deeds, and mortgages. In 1881, Reavis then approached the U.S. surveyor general. By virtue of the documents, Reavis claimed the territories as a descendant of de Peralta. It was a land grabbing of a mammoth degree! Astoundingly, Reavis then began to TAX the residents of his millions of acres!

As the tax revenues poured in, the faux-hidalgo Reavis became a very wealthy man, with mansions in four cities and two countries. But after nine years, a Spaniard unmasked the forgeries. Reavis was arrested, and after serving prison time, he ended his days homeless on the streets of Santa Fe.

Thus did a former land baron become what Americans call a “hobo.” One of the richest land barons in Arizona, and soon he’d bought mansions in New York, Washington, St. Louis, and Mexico. Ah, how the years sweep us on like leaves before the gale!

What does this have to do with Stoudemire’s oracular pronouncement? I do not know! But let me close with news that is both pleasant and easy to deciper: Please note El Chacho's Latino Power Ranking relative to mine own!
Rudy foto from the Oregonian,
Richard Nixon by David Kennerly.

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