Existencialismo & Dunking

What is the importance of a dunk? There is none. Or perhaps, there an importance of meager proportions. Even as I soared like an Iberian condor against New Zealand, I knew that it will never matter to the world that I dunked individually. But by acknowledging the weaknesses of the dunk, perhaps my meager faith in it becomes all the more potent.

The implicit question is why, in the face of the possible futility of all human endeavoring, I dunk at all?

My answer: Dunking is a means to more dunking. And scoring against an adversary is a good first step toward illuminating one’s manhood! Further, dunking may not offer solutions, but poses good entertainments. And while, following losses to both France and the U.S., I am tempted to say that perhaps this is ALL that dunking really does, we must wait and see how we fare in further World Championship matches first!

In Which Team USA Plays Into My Strategy!

You have perhaps heard the wise cliché? “Losses build character.” Behold me: I am a character! You see, life itself is a series of losses…we lose our looks, our memory, our ability to dribble in traffic, our friends and coaches. And the sport of basketball lends us an assist in confronting such sorrows!

So the despair my mates and I and our fans felt in the exhibition match against the USA team was merely grief-in-training for our real-life defeats to come.

And the USA is now unencumbered with grief. They are unshriven! Kevin Durant and companies have run no gauntlets and been found wanting! Thus, they will be pickings of an easy nature when the tournament matches count. (Or so my current theory holds!)

Why Do I Prefer Playing in Europe?

Because it's more civilized!

Caged Match

"The prisoner running as the guards shoot at him, believes for a moment that he is free."

As an athlete whose game has been shackled this season past, I have gently let it be known that I have a slight preference to not re-join the Portland Trail Blazers. While my discourse has been most civil and reasonable, this has led to the harshest recriminations…including a column from one journalist who advises I be left to rot! (This is an unlikely eventuality; as a sun-wizened Mallorcan, my flesh has the consistency of Iberian jerky.) 

For any confusions regarding my status activations, I blame the English tongue! To wit, view this interchange between Coach Nate McMillan and myself.

Myself: With all due respectiveness, I would like to engage in more activities on the parquet.

Coach McMillan: I’ll do my best to give you more court time.

But in the endless convolutions of legal scholars and basketball coaches, THIS is what the coach actually meant: 

“As a conveyance of our oral agreement, I will give you due consideration regarding the right, title and claim, for playing time including the attached privileges of dribbling, shooting, passing, and seeking steals from the opposition along with your entitlement's full power to turn the ball over to the opposition, suck, and ogle opposing cheerleaders all within the context of my existing offensive schematics which will rarely utilize the skills you feel you possess to the greatest advantage, the opinions of you and/or your agent to the contrary notwithstanding.”

Court cage by Jake Stangel,

fallen matador by REUTERS.

How I Spend My Summer Vacationings

Passing the Trade Winds

Marc Gasol: Oyes, Rudy, I have a question.

Myself: Why have I made request for a trade to New York, Boston, or Chicago?

Marc: What? No! I was going to tell a joke about why the beard of a Spaniard can only grow to the length of a centimeter. Is this trade you speak of truth?

Myself: Sí.

Marc: So while you relocate to a world-class city with excellent air travel to España, I will continue to labor in the perdition known as—

Myself: Memphis. But what of your joke, mi amigo?

Marc: There is no joke.

Foto from aquí.

Are You Ready for This?

¡España Está en el Campeonato de la Copa del Mundo!

¡Pum! Just this season, I formulated a prediction to my Blazer mates that Spain's fútball team would make a fine performance at the World Cup. And nobody was believing myself at that time!

But for the usual American basketball player, soccer occupies the same level of interest as Estonian literature. Ah well... even so, the Dutch soccer squad had best bring its unique courage to the championship match. ¡Enhorabuena a España!