EL BLOG ILUSORIO DE RUDY: This Flagrant Foul Is Joined in Process

10.4.10

This Flagrant Foul Is Joined in Process

As Erik Dampier raised his gigantic arm, he seemed ready to threaten the very heavens, earth, and watery abysses! The wrathful Maverick then delivered his blow with such force and fury, if his hand had not twisted in the course of the descent, the stroke would have put an end to my mortal coil and to all of my adventures.

But fortune has better things in store for me, and as the behemoth's engorged digits struck, all the damage they did was to carry off a large part of my face (together with my left ear), all of which tumbled to the hard woods in a hideous ruin.

Or so it felt! And to add insult to mortal injury, no foul was called! Yet I was assessed a technical for not immediately passing the ball to the referee? (Or was it for being overly Spanish?) Surely, it is a tipsy-turvy world we live in!

Fotos from the Oregonian and Reuters.

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"El Blog Ilusorio": In the Orbs of Others!

Rudy's Hypothetical Rules of Basketball

1. In ten years, nobody will remember the details of score, assists, or rebounds. They will only remember who won them a chalupa.

2. Any shot worth shooting is worth shooting twice.

3. When not shooting on offense, you should be communicating, passing, and running. Also, yell “Foul!” repeatedly. Why? How can officials summon help if you yell “Good D!” or “Our opponents are superior!”?

4. If legitimately called for a foul, say, “A good call!” (Do this no more than once a game.)

5. When in possession of the ball, have a plan. Further, have a back-up plan, because the first plan won't work (unless you are Brandon Roy).

6. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. (Both Oden and Pryzbilla provide these in abundance.)

7. On defense, ignore words and direct your eyesight to the ball. (Opposing Cleveland, LeBron James told me he would pull up for a jumper. I advanced upon him. Then James drove baseline with great speed. Both of my ankles gave way!)

8. The faster you begin an opponent’s blow-out, the more shots everyone will get.

9. Be polite and professional to everyone you play against. Then destroy them, for they wish to defeat you.

10. Practice shooting in a dimly-lit practice area with someone shouting unflattering threats at you. (I found this useful in Europe, where partial power outages were not uncommon.)

11. You may feel sad about snapping another team’s back with a clinch alley-oop or a clutching 3-pointer. But sadness is preferred to losing. And the winning will then bring happiness. (In the case of defeating the Lakers, the happiness will be most pronounced.)

12. Purple is not my color. (It may not be anyone’s color.)