EL BLOG ILUSORIO DE RUDY: The Polish Colossus

27.8.09

The Polish Colossus

In a game filled with fervent nips and febrile tucks, Team España held off the Polish National Team with a tallying of 88-83. For my part, las estadísticas were of acceptance: 10 puntos, 4 rebounds, 2 assists, and 1 misconduct foul.

But while victory may have come our way, we are wary and forewarned. The next match against this opponent will be in Poland itself. And as a shaven-pated Polish colossus gathered 16 rebounds today, who knows what damage Marcin Gortat might wreak when he strides on the soil of his homecourt?

2 comments:

AnonymousAugust 28, 2009 at 10:36 AM
Will Espana ever play France? Rudy vs. Batum?
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AnonymousAugust 28, 2009 at 12:04 PM
It's a Byzantine tournament system, and one that FIBA seems to go out of its way to NOT explain. Here's the closest thing to something that makes sense, and based on this, it seems like the two Blazers could indeed encounter each other:
http://tinyurl.com/mgtuee
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"El Blog Ilusorio": In the Orbs of Others!

Rudy's Hypothetical Rules of Basketball

1. In ten years, nobody will remember the details of score, assists, or rebounds. They will only remember who won them a chalupa.

2. Any shot worth shooting is worth shooting twice.

3. When not shooting on offense, you should be communicating, passing, and running. Also, yell “Foul!” repeatedly. Why? How can officials summon help if you yell “Good D!” or “Our opponents are superior!”?

4. If legitimately called for a foul, say, “A good call!” (Do this no more than once a game.)

5. When in possession of the ball, have a plan. Further, have a back-up plan, because the first plan won't work (unless you are Brandon Roy).

6. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. (Both Oden and Pryzbilla provide these in abundance.)

7. On defense, ignore words and direct your eyesight to the ball. (Opposing Cleveland, LeBron James told me he would pull up for a jumper. I advanced upon him. Then James drove baseline with great speed. Both of my ankles gave way!)

8. The faster you begin an opponent’s blow-out, the more shots everyone will get.

9. Be polite and professional to everyone you play against. Then destroy them, for they wish to defeat you.

10. Practice shooting in a dimly-lit practice area with someone shouting unflattering threats at you. (I found this useful in Europe, where partial power outages were not uncommon.)

11. You may feel sad about snapping another team’s back with a clinch alley-oop or a clutching 3-pointer. But sadness is preferred to losing. And the winning will then bring happiness. (In the case of defeating the Lakers, the happiness will be most pronounced.)

12. Purple is not my color. (It may not be anyone’s color.)