A Farewell to Legs

On the Blazers, five of my mates begin each match. Then, as time passes, these players are replaced by the so-called “bench-mates.” And I count myself proudly among them. We bench-mates are here to provide sparks off the bench. How is this accomplished? With static-generating shorts! As we leap into action, sparks fly and fans swoon.

But sadly, in our recent Charlotte match, two of my bench-mates fell victim to the injury. Travis Outlaw suffered a broken foot bone while busting a routine move. And in a manner most bizarre, Jerryd Bayless tripped over a hump in a hallway carpet and nearly killed himself!

His bellows of pain filled the coliseum, and I had to assist him to assistance. This was no easy matter; Jerryd is a most dense 200 pounds (195 without his cologne). How to explain such a sad conjunction of misfortunes in Charlotte?

It was almost as if Travis and Jerryd were being manipulated by some barely-glimpsed and malevolent puppeteer. Ah, but surely such a notion is ludicrous!

Top Bayless foto from Blaze of Love, Larry Brown from the SI Vault.


  1. rudy u are the best keep up the good spirits we love u in portland!

  2. I am so sorry to hear about the injuries. I LOVE Travis, and Jerryd looked as if he was feeling better last night. We are HUGE Portland supporters... keep it up! We may live in Boise Idaho now, but our heart is in Portland with you!!

  3. Rudy, how it's possible to contact you and send you e-mail or sth like that?

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. To send a communique to Hypothetical Rudy... you have already done so.

    For communications with the true Rudy, the best pathway is via a comment on his blog postings; the link is at the top right margin of this blog.


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