EL BLOG ILUSORIO DE RUDY: Iberian Marmots and Football Vixens Pave Paths to Victory

6.11.09

Iberian Marmots and Football Vixens Pave Paths to Victory

Did you know? The kingdom of animals can yield helpful sports perspectives! Per ejemplo, when the Iberian marmot finds itself backed into a corner, it does not concern itself with niceties. Nor is the fear of a non-unsportsmanlike technical on its mind. Rather, the fearsome rodent is prepared to lash out in any fashion that will ensure its survival!

With our current losing record, my mates and I can take inspirations from the marmot. And in the games ahead, we should attempt to apply what Joel Pryzbilla describes as "an old-fashioned butt cooking." (Ah, these zesty American idioms!)

Perhaps we may also take a page from this impressive football player de Nuevo México. She does not intend to be vanquished without a struggle... and may the rules be exiled to perdition!

Foto from PortAventura.

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"El Blog Ilusorio": In the Orbs of Others!

Rudy's Hypothetical Rules of Basketball

1. In ten years, nobody will remember the details of score, assists, or rebounds. They will only remember who won them a chalupa.

2. Any shot worth shooting is worth shooting twice.

3. When not shooting on offense, you should be communicating, passing, and running. Also, yell “Foul!” repeatedly. Why? How can officials summon help if you yell “Good D!” or “Our opponents are superior!”?

4. If legitimately called for a foul, say, “A good call!” (Do this no more than once a game.)

5. When in possession of the ball, have a plan. Further, have a back-up plan, because the first plan won't work (unless you are Brandon Roy).

6. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. (Both Oden and Pryzbilla provide these in abundance.)

7. On defense, ignore words and direct your eyesight to the ball. (Opposing Cleveland, LeBron James told me he would pull up for a jumper. I advanced upon him. Then James drove baseline with great speed. Both of my ankles gave way!)

8. The faster you begin an opponent’s blow-out, the more shots everyone will get.

9. Be polite and professional to everyone you play against. Then destroy them, for they wish to defeat you.

10. Practice shooting in a dimly-lit practice area with someone shouting unflattering threats at you. (I found this useful in Europe, where partial power outages were not uncommon.)

11. You may feel sad about snapping another team’s back with a clinch alley-oop or a clutching 3-pointer. But sadness is preferred to losing. And the winning will then bring happiness. (In the case of defeating the Lakers, the happiness will be most pronounced.)

12. Purple is not my color. (It may not be anyone’s color.)