The Rattle of Plastic Sabers

I am of the hope that you have some quantities of hazel-nuts on your person, because I have a largish scoop! Our match against the Indiana Pacers revealed that Josh McRoberts rattles a plastic saber on the court. You see, after my drainage of a tres, McRoberts took exception and berated me. My response for my irascible former mate?

A smile.

For I knew a reason for McRoberts' antipathy: Grooming jealousy! It has always been thus between us. You see, upon entering an NBA locker chamber, an anthology of body odors assails one's nose. And yet even in this pungent atmosphere, when McRoberts was a Trail Blazer, he still somehow made his presence known!
Not to trumpet my own horn, but my grooming is impeccable. Bearing witness, note the image above. Although I am in motion, see how my hair is in perfect disarray? Contrast this with Mike Dunleavy's flailing moppiness!
Further, note the awed looks on the coaches behind me. They cannot help themselves, although they already know the secret origin of my savoir faire: Prudently chosen gels and a large pre-match glass of leche

Of course, one can not relax post-match...behold:

Rudy foto from the Oregonian.

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