Blood in the Water, Confetti in the Sky

The match with the Lakers was close. The onlookers cheered. Emotions ascended!

And as two sharks smell blood in the water and swim toward it, so did Sergio and I begin our trajectories on the court.

A moment later, our jaws closed, and PUM! ¡Esmaixada!

Sasha Vujacic was most displeased at trailing in my wake on this play. Later, as we stood awaiting free throws, I saw Sasha’s querulous yet curious glancing toward me. Did the Slovenian sense that the NBA’s mantle of European flair had now slipped from his grasp?

Sasha leaned in. “Your stubbling,” he whispered unbelievingly. “It is perfect!”

With a wry smile, I nodded. And even as I did so, we both knew the mantle had passed away from him forever. ¡PUM!

Adicíon: For those insisting on the post-game interviewings, click here or on the image to the left. You are welcome to it!

Rudy in the jaws from acb.com,

interview from Blazers Center Court.

Kissing and Putting on the Make-Up

Feeling unwanted is not a familiar companion to me. But while my mates and I debate who we wish to be pitted against in the playing-offs, our recent successes suggest that no other team wants us.

The sensation of unwantedness was never so welcome!

One thing that I do not want are further queries on the Ariza/Fernández Conflict. I have entirely rid my mind of all dregs regarding it. But it is true that I am reminded of my injuries when I snore or my back commences to spasm.

But I choose not to dwell on the manner in which Ariza’s flagrante falta caused my bones, organs, muscles, tendons, tissues, nerves, ligaments, discs, cartilages, and joints to be compressed, dislocated, separated, bruised, contused, abrased, torn, wrenched, swollen, strained, sprained, and inflamed.

It is of no consequence!

Tonight is our first rematch with Pau Gasol and his Lakers since the night I was wheeled from our home pavilion in a stretcher. Will Trevor Ariza be affable? If so, I will return the sentiment in the spirit it is offered. But as for the “kissing and putting on the make-up” concept that Americans have, we shall see. (Perhaps I will have more later on this topic!)

Rudy foto from the Oregonian,
Ramunas Siskauskas & Yao Ming
from elsewhere on the Interwebbings.

Scarves, Swag, and Other Accessories

I see myself on the court as a cross-eyed optimist. If there is an error in my play, no matter! I will continue to strive. Or perhaps I will see if the referees are amenable to placing the blame on an opposing player.

My mates feel similarly, as the Spurs learned yesterday from our second comeback performance in as many nights. Truly, we played minutes and left things on the court!

Where does our can-do-it ability derive? At Center Court is an exploration of what is known as the Trail Blazers' “swagger.” This is the physical manifestations of a player's confident attitude, born from skills and the moxiness.

Or perhaps not— until this day, I had no ideas what swaggerliness was comprised of! LaMarcus Aldridge is cited as one who brims with the swagging. And Brandon Roy pinponts Sergio as a mate who derives a swaggerly nature from wearing “little tight jackets.” Unfair! As this foto of El Chacho with Spanish Embassy communications specialist Alfonso Aramendia shows, his jacket tailoring is not unseemly.

Even so, I believe Sergio's imaginary jacket swag could benefit from the accessorizing! (And regarding sartorial crimes, there are those who make even Steve Blake look like a fashionisto!)

Spurs foto from the Oregonian,
Sergio and Rudy by
Alfonso Aramendia,
Sczcerbiak by Basketbawful.

Lavado Verde en las Grandes Ligas

After trailing most of last night's match opposing the Memphis Grizzlies, we enjoyed a stirring, resurgent victory. This fueled my dinner conversation with Sergio afterwards.

Sergio: You had a most efficient match, my friend. Your 15 points corresponded to the 15 minutes you were on the court!
Myself (with modest pride): You played well also. No turnovers! We are truly sustainable additions to the team offense.
Sergio: Speaking of the sustainability, have you heard about the NBA's fantastic “NBA Green” celebrations? It is a revelry of environmental maneuvers in respect for Earth Day.
Myself (enthused): Most praiseworthy! How will do these green practices manifest themselves?
Sergio: The NBA made custom organic cotton uniforms and T-shirts for us to wear.
Myself: I noticed! 
Sergio: But we will only wear them for a week.
Myself: A disappointment! There must be other steps, however?
Sergio: Yes. The New Orleans Hornets gave free parking to fans with four or more people pooled in a car.
Myself: This is to the good! How many were able to take advantage of this?
Sergio: Only the first 100 fans arriving to the arena received the discount.
Myself: In an arena that seats…?
Sergio: Thousands.
Myself: Still, it is a commendable notion. Have other teams replicated the idea?
Sergio (checking the laptopping): Hmmm… no.
Myself: But surely you have noticed some of our mates engaging in friendliness to the environment?
Sergio (brightly): Channing Frye can ride light rail to the Rose Garden arena from his condo!
Myself: Has he ever done so?
Sergio: I suppose not. (Sighing.) In a topic changing, did you see those new El Chacho T-shirt designs?
Myself: ¡Felicidades! Are your tribute shirts made from organic cotton?
Sergio: No sé... But anyway, it was a good match tonight. And now, see the time! We must—
Myself: Get on Paul Allen’s privately chartered jet to fly to a luxury hotel flooded with conditioned airs. There we will play millionaire opponents who drove to the arena in Escalades and Hummers. And they will not count a single Greenpeace member among themselves!
Sergio: Check, please!

Rudy foto by Lance Murphey,
El Chacho from Black Squirrel;
El Conquistador also available!

Miracles of the Pork

With the season mounting in intensity, I must maintain mental and physical discipline. Only events of utmost importance can be allowed to occupy my thoughts!

For instance, José and his ham.

As noted (“Angel Pigs”), José Calderón owns a pig ranch in España. There his acorn-fed animals produce a ham known as jamón Ibérico de bellota. This miracle of the pork has the unique look; it is shipped with the pig’s cloven hoof still attached.

The black hoof signifies a high price; Sergio has noted jamón Ibérico de bellota costs $130 a pound! This price may soon double, as retaliatory tariffs between Europe and the U.S. sweep up José’s cured meats in the crossfire.

Sergio peeks at my blogging. “I love José’s ranch, but what do Spanish hams have to do with us?” he asks.

I give him the meaningful look.

“Oh!” Sergio grins with a realization, and he walks off dribbling three balls at once.

I call after him, “I meant the ham will give us playoff strength!” But Sergio just laughs.

Una Atrevida Predicción

A moment of the lightness: In recent times, I spied the uninhabited costume of the mascot Blaze. A spirit of impulsivity seized me! Donning the not-very-legendary cat’s head, I prowled the chamber of lockers. Who would be victimized? Seeing that Greg Oden was engaged in an interview, I made a pounce!

(Or perhaps it was a cavort?)

Sensing my faux-feline presence, Greg turned. And unblinkingly, the ebon giant intoned to the reportero:

“The spirit that I have seen
May be a Spanish devil: and the devil hath power
To assume Blaze’s shape; yea, and perhaps
To constitute as my interview’s distraction
He seeks to abuse my good nature.
But to answer the question, the playoff’s the thing
Wherein I’ll engage in my most forceful dunking.”

Based on this, I now make a bold prediction: Greg will extemporize better than any other NBA center during the playoffs!

Hot tip from Dave Knows;
image courtesy of Casey Holdahl;
foto credit to JT

Gagging, Beards, and a Tangled Web Is Woven

From his laptopping, Sergio yips with delights at news of a stony-hearted April Fool's hoaxing. At an Orlando match, a Magic fan was informed that $100,000 would be his if he sank a long-range shot with both eyes blindfolded.

Here is the gagging: Though the blindfolded fan's shot missed, audience members enthused as if he accomplished a swishing! (In this manner, the crowd was in on the practical jokery.)  And with wild celebrations, the shooter fell victim to this ruse.

What a miscarriage of injustice! When the rug was pulled out from beneath the failed swisher, he was not pleased. Nor was I.

“No, no,” Sergio said, “the failed swisher was actually an actor hired by the Orlando Magic. It was a double-crossing!”

“So the joke was not on the failed swisher—”

“But on the crowd of those in attendance!” crowed El Chacho. “The old double-cross. It was a tangled web of deceit.”

Very well! Speaking of tangled webs, Baron Davis's robust beard is renowned in the NBA. (Some even maintain his beard can speak.) And now a variety of Trail Blazers also sport beards. I refer not to my own stubbling (“A Razor's Edge”), but to Steve Blake and Brandon Roy. Both of my mates commenced the growth of beards a month ago. Their notion is to shave only when playoff matches are reached.

Steve's bearding gives him a diabolical mien, while Brandon has only infrequent tufting. Sergio and Travis Outlaw have now also followed their non-shaving suit. But my belief is that Travis weaves his own web of deceit! While he claims not to have shaved for weeks, the only evidence of this is the most anemic soul-patching imaginable!

Rudy's beard derived from the Oregonian,
Walton foto from Fear the Beard.

This Time Is Not That Time

¡Por favor, mi amigo!

When I chortle in appreciation, my injured back cries out.

Foto by Ben Golliver.