EL BLOG ILUSORIO DE RUDY: Triple Doubles and the Doubly Affirmed

27.2.10

Triple Doubles and the Doubly Affirmed

In this evening's match, Nic Batum enjoyed a flirtation with a triple-double, with his 31 puntos, 7 rebounds, and 7 assists. Well done, mi amigo! But while the triple-double is a benchmark that bench players rarely achieve, I sometimes wonder over its linguistic counterpart, the triple-negative.

Rasheed Wallace is the only player to my awareness who has a triple-negative this season. When asked whether he would stop leading the NBA in technical ecstasies, Wallace responded, “I ain’t changing nothing for nobody.”

When I inquired of Dante Cunningham if this means Rasheed WOULD change his ways, Dante looked at me quizzically and said, “Yeah, right.” Yet this leaves me none the wiser!

Further, this suggests that a triple-negative is STILL a negative, yet a double-affirmative (e.g. “Yeah, right”) ALSO seems to be a negative?

Sometimes I despair of learning this wretched tongue!

1 comment:

Three ToeMarch 7, 2010 at 11:46 AM
this was hilarious!! I look forward to reading more of your blog.
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"El Blog Ilusorio": In the Orbs of Others!

Rudy's Hypothetical Rules of Basketball

1. In ten years, nobody will remember the details of score, assists, or rebounds. They will only remember who won them a chalupa.

2. Any shot worth shooting is worth shooting twice.

3. When not shooting on offense, you should be communicating, passing, and running. Also, yell “Foul!” repeatedly. Why? How can officials summon help if you yell “Good D!” or “Our opponents are superior!”?

4. If legitimately called for a foul, say, “A good call!” (Do this no more than once a game.)

5. When in possession of the ball, have a plan. Further, have a back-up plan, because the first plan won't work (unless you are Brandon Roy).

6. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. (Both Oden and Pryzbilla provide these in abundance.)

7. On defense, ignore words and direct your eyesight to the ball. (Opposing Cleveland, LeBron James told me he would pull up for a jumper. I advanced upon him. Then James drove baseline with great speed. Both of my ankles gave way!)

8. The faster you begin an opponent’s blow-out, the more shots everyone will get.

9. Be polite and professional to everyone you play against. Then destroy them, for they wish to defeat you.

10. Practice shooting in a dimly-lit practice area with someone shouting unflattering threats at you. (I found this useful in Europe, where partial power outages were not uncommon.)

11. You may feel sad about snapping another team’s back with a clinch alley-oop or a clutching 3-pointer. But sadness is preferred to losing. And the winning will then bring happiness. (In the case of defeating the Lakers, the happiness will be most pronounced.)

12. Purple is not my color. (It may not be anyone’s color.)