EL BLOG ILUSORIO DE RUDY: On Buffness

10.2.10

On Buffness

Checking into last evening’s debacle against the Oklahoma City Thunder, I found myself standing next to the rangy form of Kevin Durant. The quiet and mannerly player gave me a sidelong glance and said, “Dang Rudy, you’re buff.”

Surprised, I answered, “I shower twice daily, and this process includes exfoliation, defoliation, and deforestation. But while I sometimes take on a healthy sheen, I have never described myself as being ‘buffed.’”

With a quizzical chuckle, Durant responded, “Now you’re messin’ with me? Touché!” (He then proceeded to rain down points on us in a most genteel manner.)

1 comment:

AnonymousFebruary 10, 2010 at 12:48 PM
Hi Rudy! You have a GREAT sense of humor! I love to laugh! I hope your back is feeling good. Was at the game last night and was wondering what was going on with the team. I do think it would help you to work out. Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen both started working out after being in the NBA for a few years..had their own personal trainers. They said it helped them with their stamina for the playoffs and made them less likely to be injured. This makes sense to me! I am an RN (Registered Nurse) and believe working out does help build strength and make it less likely to be injured! Thank you again for your great playing and personality! Mary Joelle
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"El Blog Ilusorio": In the Orbs of Others!

Rudy's Hypothetical Rules of Basketball

1. In ten years, nobody will remember the details of score, assists, or rebounds. They will only remember who won them a chalupa.

2. Any shot worth shooting is worth shooting twice.

3. When not shooting on offense, you should be communicating, passing, and running. Also, yell “Foul!” repeatedly. Why? How can officials summon help if you yell “Good D!” or “Our opponents are superior!”?

4. If legitimately called for a foul, say, “A good call!” (Do this no more than once a game.)

5. When in possession of the ball, have a plan. Further, have a back-up plan, because the first plan won't work (unless you are Brandon Roy).

6. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. (Both Oden and Pryzbilla provide these in abundance.)

7. On defense, ignore words and direct your eyesight to the ball. (Opposing Cleveland, LeBron James told me he would pull up for a jumper. I advanced upon him. Then James drove baseline with great speed. Both of my ankles gave way!)

8. The faster you begin an opponent’s blow-out, the more shots everyone will get.

9. Be polite and professional to everyone you play against. Then destroy them, for they wish to defeat you.

10. Practice shooting in a dimly-lit practice area with someone shouting unflattering threats at you. (I found this useful in Europe, where partial power outages were not uncommon.)

11. You may feel sad about snapping another team’s back with a clinch alley-oop or a clutching 3-pointer. But sadness is preferred to losing. And the winning will then bring happiness. (In the case of defeating the Lakers, the happiness will be most pronounced.)

12. Purple is not my color. (It may not be anyone’s color.)