My Inner Demon Wears a Jersey-Vest

As Miguel de Cervantes once wrote, our greatest foes, and those whom we must chiefly combat, are within us. This is true! And for myself, when I am battling a nemesis of my own nature, I imagine my foe to be dressed in the garb of a Laker.

This is what sports psychologists call “visualization.”

Now I am forced to visualize a demon in most horrible raiment. A French designer named “Colette” has come up with jersey-vests made in the NBA style. (You can see them here, in the colors of the likely Finals opponents.)

Now, as a Spaniard, I was born with an innate sense of fashion, and like you, dear reader, these faux-chic-kitsch jersey-vests make my gorge rise.

Could one wear a vest of this nature on the court? Preposterous! A cummerbund would be necessary to make it ergonomically correct. Very well, but would such a jersey-vest be acceptable in a more formal setting, like at a seaside banquet honoring our Mallorcan fishermen?

Outrageous! One would be knifed in short order. And yet even so, I have received pressures to purchase and wear just such a jersey-vest. This request comes from one who, as a model, knows a thing or two about what is fashionable. It is her profession, and thus my credibility holds little sway. So yes, Cristina, I will look into whether the odious jersey-vests come in XXXL. And yes, I’m sure that Colette can tailor one just for me… Very well, I know, it will probably look good once I put it on...
Cervantes sculpture by Carlo Nicoli,
jersey-vests by Colette.

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