EL BLOG ILUSORIO DE RUDY: Mystery Posteriors and Lawful Recreation

11.6.09

Mystery Posteriors and Lawful Recreation

Whose posterior is this? Read on!

Before I address posterior identities, let me say that my summer’s goof-off quotient has been quite low. Yet I fear that my multiple TV appearances could mislead some into thinking that this has been an indolent off-season.

To these nay-sayers I say: The bow cannot always stand bent, nor can human frailty subsist without some lawful recreation!

Now, as to the drinking-glass bottom above, it belonged to the scientist to the left. He engaged in experiments to inform and delight on the Spanish TV show El Hormiguero Pablo Motos. How could a drinking glass on someone's gluteus accomplish such things? I suppose you must watch to find out!

1 comment:

AnonymousJune 12, 2009 at 10:06 AM
Nice labcoat, Dr. Rudy!
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"El Blog Ilusorio": In the Orbs of Others!

Rudy's Hypothetical Rules of Basketball

1. In ten years, nobody will remember the details of score, assists, or rebounds. They will only remember who won them a chalupa.

2. Any shot worth shooting is worth shooting twice.

3. When not shooting on offense, you should be communicating, passing, and running. Also, yell “Foul!” repeatedly. Why? How can officials summon help if you yell “Good D!” or “Our opponents are superior!”?

4. If legitimately called for a foul, say, “A good call!” (Do this no more than once a game.)

5. When in possession of the ball, have a plan. Further, have a back-up plan, because the first plan won't work (unless you are Brandon Roy).

6. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. (Both Oden and Pryzbilla provide these in abundance.)

7. On defense, ignore words and direct your eyesight to the ball. (Opposing Cleveland, LeBron James told me he would pull up for a jumper. I advanced upon him. Then James drove baseline with great speed. Both of my ankles gave way!)

8. The faster you begin an opponent’s blow-out, the more shots everyone will get.

9. Be polite and professional to everyone you play against. Then destroy them, for they wish to defeat you.

10. Practice shooting in a dimly-lit practice area with someone shouting unflattering threats at you. (I found this useful in Europe, where partial power outages were not uncommon.)

11. You may feel sad about snapping another team’s back with a clinch alley-oop or a clutching 3-pointer. But sadness is preferred to losing. And the winning will then bring happiness. (In the case of defeating the Lakers, the happiness will be most pronounced.)

12. Purple is not my color. (It may not be anyone’s color.)