EL BLOG ILUSORIO DE RUDY: Spaniards Dominate Media Headings!

9.6.09

Spaniards Dominate Media Headings!

Even as Pau’s Lakers put the wrappings around the Orlando Magic, other Spaniards exert their newsworthiness. Firstly, there are fertile rumors stating that the Trail Blazers will trade Sergio to the New York Knicks on the day of drafting.

While this will consign me to a Sergio-less perdition, it would be a heavenly match for El Chacho and his new coach. Sergio can fast-break with his eyes duct-taped shut, and Mike D’Antoni will smile beatifically at what a skilled courtier he is.

I have spoken with Sergio about this New York prospect. Regarding it, El Chacho is mad past recovery, yet he has lucid intervals.

I have enough self-awareness to see that there are potential jealousy here. As is known, if I were not playing in Portland, I would prefer Madison Square Garden’s environs. This is because New York is not such a long plane trip from Spain.

Additionally, it is New York!

Superadequate news also comes from Ricky Rubio. He made less than $100,000 last year as point guard for my former Spanish team, DKV Joventut. Even so, to play in the NBA this coming season, he will need to come up with over six million dollars for his contract buyout! In this fashion, Ricky may have to purchase his way into the NBA.

If I were in possession of more assets, I would gladly assist Ricky in this respect. But last season, I made a mere million dollars myself!

(I am often asked for opinions on Ricky’s readiness for the NBA. For those truly interested, I am in agreement with this draft breakdown of his skills.)

Sergio y Rudy fotos from the Oregonian,
Ricky from WelcomeToLoudCity.com.

2 comments:

AnonymousJune 9, 2009 at 8:05 PM
Ooooh, a mere million dollars, I feel for you, really...
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AnonymousJune 10, 2009 at 3:17 PM
A million bucks ain't what it used to be...unless it used to be a million bucks!
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"El Blog Ilusorio": In the Orbs of Others!

Rudy's Hypothetical Rules of Basketball

1. In ten years, nobody will remember the details of score, assists, or rebounds. They will only remember who won them a chalupa.

2. Any shot worth shooting is worth shooting twice.

3. When not shooting on offense, you should be communicating, passing, and running. Also, yell “Foul!” repeatedly. Why? How can officials summon help if you yell “Good D!” or “Our opponents are superior!”?

4. If legitimately called for a foul, say, “A good call!” (Do this no more than once a game.)

5. When in possession of the ball, have a plan. Further, have a back-up plan, because the first plan won't work (unless you are Brandon Roy).

6. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. (Both Oden and Pryzbilla provide these in abundance.)

7. On defense, ignore words and direct your eyesight to the ball. (Opposing Cleveland, LeBron James told me he would pull up for a jumper. I advanced upon him. Then James drove baseline with great speed. Both of my ankles gave way!)

8. The faster you begin an opponent’s blow-out, the more shots everyone will get.

9. Be polite and professional to everyone you play against. Then destroy them, for they wish to defeat you.

10. Practice shooting in a dimly-lit practice area with someone shouting unflattering threats at you. (I found this useful in Europe, where partial power outages were not uncommon.)

11. You may feel sad about snapping another team’s back with a clinch alley-oop or a clutching 3-pointer. But sadness is preferred to losing. And the winning will then bring happiness. (In the case of defeating the Lakers, the happiness will be most pronounced.)

12. Purple is not my color. (It may not be anyone’s color.)