EL BLOG ILUSORIO DE RUDY: Clotheslined!

12.11.09

Clotheslined!

In our recent match, I thought I hit the jackpocket. Not only did the fearful Ukrainian Oleksiy Pecherov barely take part in the game, but I filled my in-boxes with 15 points, 5 rebounds, 4 assists, 4 turnovers, and 3 thefts of the basketball from the opposition. (I lead all bench players in the latter category.)

And even so, I feel as though I have been knocked senseless and left out to dry! I refer not to my minutes but to the misdeed perpetuated at the blog site known as Ladies… Its “Hump Day Hotties” posting was dedicated to the Portland Trail Blazers. Who would reign supreme as el hombre más caliente? It is a surprise! While beefcake-on-a-fashion plate subjects like Jerryd Bayless and myself are alluded to, the focus of Hump Day Hottieness is…

Steve Blake?

Like Zach Randolph suddenly jabbing his thumb in my cornea, I did not see that coming! Yet though I am slighted, I offer Ladies… the instructive words of Miguel de Cervantes in the best spirit:

“A private sin is not so prejudicial in this world, as a public indecency.”

Rudy foto from BlazersEdge.

1 comment:

AnonymousFebruary 4, 2010 at 6:15 PM
yeah, the steve blake is the new hotness ain't he.
in the alter-dimension!
ReplyDelete
Replies

Add comment

I welcome your civil commenting.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

"El Blog Ilusorio": In the Orbs of Others!

Rudy's Hypothetical Rules of Basketball

1. In ten years, nobody will remember the details of score, assists, or rebounds. They will only remember who won them a chalupa.

2. Any shot worth shooting is worth shooting twice.

3. When not shooting on offense, you should be communicating, passing, and running. Also, yell “Foul!” repeatedly. Why? How can officials summon help if you yell “Good D!” or “Our opponents are superior!”?

4. If legitimately called for a foul, say, “A good call!” (Do this no more than once a game.)

5. When in possession of the ball, have a plan. Further, have a back-up plan, because the first plan won't work (unless you are Brandon Roy).

6. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. (Both Oden and Pryzbilla provide these in abundance.)

7. On defense, ignore words and direct your eyesight to the ball. (Opposing Cleveland, LeBron James told me he would pull up for a jumper. I advanced upon him. Then James drove baseline with great speed. Both of my ankles gave way!)

8. The faster you begin an opponent’s blow-out, the more shots everyone will get.

9. Be polite and professional to everyone you play against. Then destroy them, for they wish to defeat you.

10. Practice shooting in a dimly-lit practice area with someone shouting unflattering threats at you. (I found this useful in Europe, where partial power outages were not uncommon.)

11. You may feel sad about snapping another team’s back with a clinch alley-oop or a clutching 3-pointer. But sadness is preferred to losing. And the winning will then bring happiness. (In the case of defeating the Lakers, the happiness will be most pronounced.)

12. Purple is not my color. (It may not be anyone’s color.)