EL BLOG ILUSORIO DE RUDY: Divine Entertainments?

2.1.10

Divine Entertainments?

Observe the fox stalking a hare. It is fascinating, yes? For despite your hare (or fox!) sympathies, there are elements of entertainment in the varied fortunes of beasts.

Or so Sergio maintains. (He is an avid watcher of the Animal Planet!)

Now, consider our team's plight. With Steve Blake's recent admission to the hospital for neumonía, we subtract as many as eight players from the usual Trail Blazer rotations.

Could it be that a superior being of some kind watches OUR plight with amusement? I do not refer to Antonio Banderas, but rather to an omnipotent power who alters fate for its own reality programming.

If you find this overly fanciful, let me ask: How else can you explain the presence of this Pau Gasol impersonator? (I feel better about my commands of the English after reading his site!)

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"El Blog Ilusorio": In the Orbs of Others!

Rudy's Hypothetical Rules of Basketball

1. In ten years, nobody will remember the details of score, assists, or rebounds. They will only remember who won them a chalupa.

2. Any shot worth shooting is worth shooting twice.

3. When not shooting on offense, you should be communicating, passing, and running. Also, yell “Foul!” repeatedly. Why? How can officials summon help if you yell “Good D!” or “Our opponents are superior!”?

4. If legitimately called for a foul, say, “A good call!” (Do this no more than once a game.)

5. When in possession of the ball, have a plan. Further, have a back-up plan, because the first plan won't work (unless you are Brandon Roy).

6. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. (Both Oden and Pryzbilla provide these in abundance.)

7. On defense, ignore words and direct your eyesight to the ball. (Opposing Cleveland, LeBron James told me he would pull up for a jumper. I advanced upon him. Then James drove baseline with great speed. Both of my ankles gave way!)

8. The faster you begin an opponent’s blow-out, the more shots everyone will get.

9. Be polite and professional to everyone you play against. Then destroy them, for they wish to defeat you.

10. Practice shooting in a dimly-lit practice area with someone shouting unflattering threats at you. (I found this useful in Europe, where partial power outages were not uncommon.)

11. You may feel sad about snapping another team’s back with a clinch alley-oop or a clutching 3-pointer. But sadness is preferred to losing. And the winning will then bring happiness. (In the case of defeating the Lakers, the happiness will be most pronounced.)

12. Purple is not my color. (It may not be anyone’s color.)