In Which Incendiary Taunts Are Detonated

Though I had hoped for restfulness, this summer has been surprisingly grueling. Por ejemplo, I recently had a most arduous photoshoot for La Vanguardia newspaper.

I was to share the lens with the formidable Spanish actress Leticia Dolera. American viewers may be unfamiliar with Leticia, but her film discredits include Mà Morta Truca a la Porta (“The Dead Hand Knocks on the Door”) and Semen, una Historia de Amor (which I think you can easily translate yourself!).

A strangely competitive air quickly swamped the set. For in addition to bringing significant wardrobings, Leticia also trundled in an ample amount of moxie. Why? I cannot say. Did my looks pose a threat to hers? I cannot say. But almost immediately, Leticia employed a mini-trampoline to loom above me.

And then, to my astonishment, she insisted on rolling out a basketball with which to dazzle me with her handlings. Further, as the actress tried to cross me over, Leticia's taunting grew muy incendiary!

Perhaps because Leticia has braved so many onscreen terrors, she felt able to cow a simple Majorcan. But I had reached my limit! Though it was perhaps ungentlemanly, I stole the ball from her and dribbled down the set. Then I dunked with force on a hoop that was conveniently located there.

So let it be known: This is the fate of all actresses who dare challenge me with their primitive skills!

Model shootings from MagazineDigital.com.