EL BLOG ILUSORIO DE RUDY: Flim-Flam Stories and Tapas

1.7.09

Flim-Flam Stories and Tapas

I have had to pull myself away from Camp Rudy to deal with a host of reports rounding the corner. It seems many are intent on scooping news that I will demand a trade if Hedo Turkoglu is obtained by the Trail Blazers.

These are mere flim-flam stories, and nothing but shams and lies!

But let me hypothetically state that if Hedo is obtained, the Asia Minor native might pull apart the Blazers in a major way. Just look at what he is doing to Peja! Further, Hedo is infamous for eating pizza just before a match.

This is unheard of, and I frown upon it. It belies a lack of professional intent. And as Sergio and I have shown, chicken strips and tapas (French fries) should be the preferred pregame meal!

Hedo from Basketbawful.

11 comments:

kdnJuly 1, 2009 at 6:37 PM
Great post, thanks Rudy!
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mikael koivJuly 1, 2009 at 9:53 PM
Its very Great you were able to take time to respond to this false report. Rudy i never believed you could be mad. RUDY RUDY RUDY!!! your the man and by far my favorite player.
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AnonymousJuly 1, 2009 at 10:12 PM
Thank you Rudy!!
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AnonymousJuly 1, 2009 at 10:14 PM
I knew it was crap
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RansomJuly 2, 2009 at 5:11 AM
Glad to know the rumors are false i've been a portland fan since Pippen was there and he was my most favorite player and i stuck with Portland after he left i now have a new favorite player in You Rudy i hate to see you go we Need you! RUDY! RUDY!
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AnonymousJuly 2, 2009 at 10:33 AM
Portland loves you and appreciates your patience. Sorry that you lost Sergio, maybe we can score RR as a consolation :)
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nw23rdJuly 2, 2009 at 10:43 AM
I play bass guitar and my guitar is red and white and the brand is 'fernandes.' I would love to write an anthem honoring your excellence. The Blazers are the only team for me and you are a ROCK STAR !
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J. RichmondJuly 2, 2009 at 4:23 PM
Hola, Rudy! I was sooo very relieved to read this post. I have been a Blazer fan since the Clyde Drexler days and it would have been a real shame if you were to go. You should be starting, but that argument is for another day. I'm just glad your still a Blazer and happy! Thanks for the great post. RUDY, RUDY, RUDY!!!
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AnonymousJuly 4, 2009 at 7:26 PM
I THINK YOU ALL SHOULD KNOW BEFORE YOU POST ANY MORE COMMENTS TO "RUDY".....THIS IS A HYPOTHETICAL BLOG OF WHAT RUDY MIGHT BE THINKING DONE BY A LOCAL WRITER BY THE NAME OF BART KING. DONT GET ME WRONG I LOVE THIS SITE AND THINK BART IS A GENIUS, BUT THESE POSTS ARE NOT FROM RUDY FERNANDEZ....
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AnonymousJuly 5, 2009 at 10:15 PM
this blog is pure gold
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AnonymousJuly 11, 2009 at 4:14 AM
Best site ever...
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"El Blog Ilusorio": In the Orbs of Others!

Rudy's Hypothetical Rules of Basketball

1. In ten years, nobody will remember the details of score, assists, or rebounds. They will only remember who won them a chalupa.

2. Any shot worth shooting is worth shooting twice.

3. When not shooting on offense, you should be communicating, passing, and running. Also, yell “Foul!” repeatedly. Why? How can officials summon help if you yell “Good D!” or “Our opponents are superior!”?

4. If legitimately called for a foul, say, “A good call!” (Do this no more than once a game.)

5. When in possession of the ball, have a plan. Further, have a back-up plan, because the first plan won't work (unless you are Brandon Roy).

6. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. (Both Oden and Pryzbilla provide these in abundance.)

7. On defense, ignore words and direct your eyesight to the ball. (Opposing Cleveland, LeBron James told me he would pull up for a jumper. I advanced upon him. Then James drove baseline with great speed. Both of my ankles gave way!)

8. The faster you begin an opponent’s blow-out, the more shots everyone will get.

9. Be polite and professional to everyone you play against. Then destroy them, for they wish to defeat you.

10. Practice shooting in a dimly-lit practice area with someone shouting unflattering threats at you. (I found this useful in Europe, where partial power outages were not uncommon.)

11. You may feel sad about snapping another team’s back with a clinch alley-oop or a clutching 3-pointer. But sadness is preferred to losing. And the winning will then bring happiness. (In the case of defeating the Lakers, the happiness will be most pronounced.)

12. Purple is not my color. (It may not be anyone’s color.)