EL BLOG ILUSORIO DE RUDY: In Which I Cry Out Against the Fates

28.1.10

In Which I Cry Out Against the Fates

As is known, we have suffered three defeats in our last four matches. Yes, we have fought nobly in many of these, but we have been vanquished nonetheless. To avoid future blowings outward, it is time for the team to pull together and stimulate the whole organism.

I have ransacked my memory to find that one moment that the fickle fingers of the Fates singled us out for misfortune. What misdeed was committed? What outrage to the gods was performed? Speak to me, oh Lords of Destiny!

Aiee, I have it.

We may have to sacrifice a goat to make amends for this.

Fotos from here.

1 comment:

ug2bFebruary 1, 2010 at 11:52 AM
That is not suitable for work, home, or any viewing. Ick
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"El Blog Ilusorio": In the Orbs of Others!

Rudy's Hypothetical Rules of Basketball

1. In ten years, nobody will remember the details of score, assists, or rebounds. They will only remember who won them a chalupa.

2. Any shot worth shooting is worth shooting twice.

3. When not shooting on offense, you should be communicating, passing, and running. Also, yell “Foul!” repeatedly. Why? How can officials summon help if you yell “Good D!” or “Our opponents are superior!”?

4. If legitimately called for a foul, say, “A good call!” (Do this no more than once a game.)

5. When in possession of the ball, have a plan. Further, have a back-up plan, because the first plan won't work (unless you are Brandon Roy).

6. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. (Both Oden and Pryzbilla provide these in abundance.)

7. On defense, ignore words and direct your eyesight to the ball. (Opposing Cleveland, LeBron James told me he would pull up for a jumper. I advanced upon him. Then James drove baseline with great speed. Both of my ankles gave way!)

8. The faster you begin an opponent’s blow-out, the more shots everyone will get.

9. Be polite and professional to everyone you play against. Then destroy them, for they wish to defeat you.

10. Practice shooting in a dimly-lit practice area with someone shouting unflattering threats at you. (I found this useful in Europe, where partial power outages were not uncommon.)

11. You may feel sad about snapping another team’s back with a clinch alley-oop or a clutching 3-pointer. But sadness is preferred to losing. And the winning will then bring happiness. (In the case of defeating the Lakers, the happiness will be most pronounced.)

12. Purple is not my color. (It may not be anyone’s color.)