These bloggings are hypothetical thinkings of my Iberian persona that might exist if I were actually leaving them here. (Which I am not!) ¿Claro? The genuine articles are revealed here.
"El Blog Ilusorio": In the Orbs of Others!
—“Hilarious.” Henry Abbott, True Hoop —“El Blog de Maximum Awesomenesso!” timbo, Blazers Edge —“One of the more original sports-based humor websites out there.” Viva Ron Mexico —“Best fake blog ever.” rptg1992, GameFAQs —“Freaking clever.” A Stern Warning —“Highly recommend.” Dave Knows —“Increased my blazermania by at least 14%.” meatwad3, Blazers Edge —“Meh.” Robert Runyon, Esq.
Team España: Gold Medalists in the Eurobasket Tournament!
¡Somos Campeones, Mi Amigo!
Amigos de El Machetero
Rudy's Hypothetical Rules of Basketball
1. In ten years, nobody will remember the details of score, assists, or rebounds. They will only remember who won them a chalupa.
2. Any shot worth shooting is worth shooting twice.
3. When not shooting on offense, you should be communicating, passing, and running. Also, yell “Foul!” repeatedly. Why? How can officials summon help if you yell “Good D!” or “Our opponents are superior!”?
4. If legitimately called for a foul, say, “A good call!” (Do this no more than once a game.)
5. When in possession of the ball, have a plan. Further, have a back-up plan, because the first plan won't work (unless you are Brandon Roy).
6. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. (Both Oden and Pryzbilla provide these in abundance.)
7. On defense, ignore words and direct your eyesight to the ball. (Opposing Cleveland, LeBron James told me he would pull up for a jumper. I advanced upon him. Then James drove baseline with great speed. Both of my ankles gave way!)
8. The faster you begin an opponent’s blow-out, the more shots everyone will get.
9. Be polite and professional to everyone you play against. Then destroy them, for they wish to defeat you.
10. Practice shooting in a dimly-lit practice area with someone shouting unflattering threats at you. (I found this useful in Europe, where partial power outages were not uncommon.)
11. You may feel sad about snapping another team’s back with a clinch alley-oop or a clutching 3-pointer. But sadness is preferred to losing. And the winning will then bring happiness. (In the case of defeating the Lakers, the happiness will be most pronounced.)
12. Purple is not my color. (It may not be anyone’s color.)
Rudy's Possible Thinkings... on Sasha Vujacic
I saw Sasha’s querulous yet curious glancing toward me. Did the Slovenian sense that the NBA’s mantle of European flair had now slipped from his grasp?
Sasha leaned in. “Your stubbling,” he whispered unbelievingly. “It is perfect!”
With a wry smile, I nodded. And even as I did so, we both knew the mantle had passed away from him forever. ¡PUM! (Original post here.)
...on the Bobbleheads
In Spain, I had heard of this American tradition. As I understand it, the idea of making a plastic replica of a person with an oversized head on a spring is a very high honor.
Sergio thinks my jaw is oversized. Yet his bobblehead resembles Lance Armstrong in a basketball outfit! (Original posthere.)
...on being an NBA rookie:
[Coach Nate McMillan] explained, “Everyone knows you’re not wet behind the ears like the usual rookie." To make the confirmation, I ran a finger behind my ear. It was dry. I nodded in counterfeit understanding and then was distracted by Sergio. He was dribbling three balls at once! Crazy. (Original post here.)
...on Violet Palmer
I enjoy her fearlessness and lack of fear. But there was a foul called by Ms. Palmer on me... that was most unfair. When I made my pleading to her, she said, “C’mon now, that’s weak sauce.”
My sauce is weak? When Sergio discovered this exchange, his laughter was of great duration. (Original posthere.)
...on being fouled by Trevor Ariza and being taken from the Rose Garden on a stretcher.
Laker coach Phil Jackson has inveighed against the “depressing faces” in Portland. I understand this! As I was wheeled off court with my neck in a brace, I had a commanding view of the Lakers bench and its assortment of downcast faces. All miens were of a depressing nature, with the exceptions of Jordan Farmar (gently solicitous) and Didier Ilunga-Mbenga (gently solicitous in a thoroughly frightening fashion). (Original posthere.)
...on Corey Maggette
Despite his stalwart appearance, Corey Maggette apparently has hollow bones! There is no other explanation for how dramatically he plummets to the ground after the lightest of touches. Without calcium supplements, a compounded fracture is in his near future.(Original post here.)
2 comments:
http://www.amazon.com/Having-Cooking-Portland-Trail-Blazers/dp/B002HPXB0W/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1256942606&sr=1-3
There's an Amazon link on the book's image as well. Ooh, leave a customer review for it!
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