EL BLOG ILUSORIO DE RUDY: Allow Me My Small Pleasures

29.4.10

Allow Me My Small Pleasures

During one of my brief sojourns on the parquet in these playoffings, I witnessed an energetic dunkage by Amare Stoudamire.

The Sun followed suit with an inchoate bellow at his home crowd.

They politely applauded.

Turning to me, the tattooed basilisk cried, “This is MY house!”

“My compliments on the décor!” I said warmly.

As Stoudamire gave me an uncomprehending stare and turned to run downcourt, I added, “Though your draperies leave much to be desired.”

Foto by the AP,

photo below by britty_d

2 comments:

AnonymousApril 30, 2010 at 12:28 PM
clever, I must ask though, is it back to the Spanish leagues for you?
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AnonymousApril 30, 2010 at 1:04 PM
This is what the future contains: http://turkey2010.fiba.com/eng
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"El Blog Ilusorio": In the Orbs of Others!

Rudy's Hypothetical Rules of Basketball

1. In ten years, nobody will remember the details of score, assists, or rebounds. They will only remember who won them a chalupa.

2. Any shot worth shooting is worth shooting twice.

3. When not shooting on offense, you should be communicating, passing, and running. Also, yell “Foul!” repeatedly. Why? How can officials summon help if you yell “Good D!” or “Our opponents are superior!”?

4. If legitimately called for a foul, say, “A good call!” (Do this no more than once a game.)

5. When in possession of the ball, have a plan. Further, have a back-up plan, because the first plan won't work (unless you are Brandon Roy).

6. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. (Both Oden and Pryzbilla provide these in abundance.)

7. On defense, ignore words and direct your eyesight to the ball. (Opposing Cleveland, LeBron James told me he would pull up for a jumper. I advanced upon him. Then James drove baseline with great speed. Both of my ankles gave way!)

8. The faster you begin an opponent’s blow-out, the more shots everyone will get.

9. Be polite and professional to everyone you play against. Then destroy them, for they wish to defeat you.

10. Practice shooting in a dimly-lit practice area with someone shouting unflattering threats at you. (I found this useful in Europe, where partial power outages were not uncommon.)

11. You may feel sad about snapping another team’s back with a clinch alley-oop or a clutching 3-pointer. But sadness is preferred to losing. And the winning will then bring happiness. (In the case of defeating the Lakers, the happiness will be most pronounced.)

12. Purple is not my color. (It may not be anyone’s color.)