EL BLOG ILUSORIO DE RUDY: Of Perspective and Iberian Trolls

8.4.10

Of Perspective and Iberian Trolls

In my postings herein, I must think my thoughts in Spanish. Then, I translate to the English! But translating my own cogitations is an impure process. Thus, as I read myself here, it is as if I were viewing a Flemish tapestry from the wrong side; I can make out the figures, but they are obscured. It is a matter of perspective!

This is a misfortune, as anyone who has beheld the splendor of Flemish tapestries —or my writings in Spanish— can attest.

Nor am I alone! Many have viewed with concern my statements in a Portland newspaper suggesting that I may flee after this season concludes. Yes, it is true that my play has lacked the highlightings that marked my days with Sergio. And yes, in spots, my efforts have been spotty. (Yet when I have been hot, I have not been haughty!) It seems that this season, I have walked on eggshells…and they have cracked! But rest assured that my meaning was not that I am primed to bolt.

But reading the article from the wrong side of the tapestry, I discern that it might make sense for me to do so. In this way, I can misconstrue my own meanings! But consider: Is Nate McMillan reeling me in? Would I be better where I’d be Real-ing Madrid instead?

And finally, why is Pau Gasol lurking under a bridge like a gigantic Iberian troll?

Fotos from SI Vault.

4 comments:

MavvApril 8, 2010 at 2:01 PM
Rudy,

I as well read that article, and though it did indeed imply that you might be happier on a different team, or back in your native Spain. I do recall you specifically saying you enjoy Portland and like playing in Portland. I think more specifically you have been playing hurt a lot of the season. Obviously this is going to hinder your play. The statistics aren't there this season, but nevertheless our team is winning. And you make a strong point that when you were hot, you were helping to carry a lot of the scoring load. It's a matter of getting hot again.
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AnonymousApril 8, 2010 at 2:16 PM
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TimApril 9, 2010 at 8:59 AM
Mr. Fernandez,
Thank you for taking the time to transcribe your thoughts in English. It's interesting to see how the translation of your Spanish writing turns out. Could you tell us whether you perform the translating with your own knowledge of English, or do you rely on a machine tool (ie, software) or a dictionary?

Best regards

--Fan in Salem (Oregon)
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AnonymousApril 9, 2010 at 9:41 AM
The primary translation software I utilize include my prefrontal cortex, as well as:

—the left posterior temporal gyrus
—the temporoparietal junction
—the ventral stratium

For complex translations, I also use a pocket dictionary.
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"El Blog Ilusorio": In the Orbs of Others!

Rudy's Hypothetical Rules of Basketball

1. In ten years, nobody will remember the details of score, assists, or rebounds. They will only remember who won them a chalupa.

2. Any shot worth shooting is worth shooting twice.

3. When not shooting on offense, you should be communicating, passing, and running. Also, yell “Foul!” repeatedly. Why? How can officials summon help if you yell “Good D!” or “Our opponents are superior!”?

4. If legitimately called for a foul, say, “A good call!” (Do this no more than once a game.)

5. When in possession of the ball, have a plan. Further, have a back-up plan, because the first plan won't work (unless you are Brandon Roy).

6. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. (Both Oden and Pryzbilla provide these in abundance.)

7. On defense, ignore words and direct your eyesight to the ball. (Opposing Cleveland, LeBron James told me he would pull up for a jumper. I advanced upon him. Then James drove baseline with great speed. Both of my ankles gave way!)

8. The faster you begin an opponent’s blow-out, the more shots everyone will get.

9. Be polite and professional to everyone you play against. Then destroy them, for they wish to defeat you.

10. Practice shooting in a dimly-lit practice area with someone shouting unflattering threats at you. (I found this useful in Europe, where partial power outages were not uncommon.)

11. You may feel sad about snapping another team’s back with a clinch alley-oop or a clutching 3-pointer. But sadness is preferred to losing. And the winning will then bring happiness. (In the case of defeating the Lakers, the happiness will be most pronounced.)

12. Purple is not my color. (It may not be anyone’s color.)