WARNING: Even the Stalwart Val Kilmer Would Avert His Gaze from This Debacle

A difficult week. My poor play in the playoffings has resulted in attempted character assassinations here, here, and here. And here...and even my post-practice heaves are subject to barbs! This has resulted in something most unwelcome— yes, a decrease in “Ru-dy” chants, but more importantly, a decline in blog visitations!

Matters grew so dire, I utilized technologies to locate my sole remaining reader. Whoever this individual was, he or she visited my site daily and diligently. Such loyalty! So I decided to pay a visit! Sitemeters and Google mappings provided the needed coordinates.

Ascending the walkway to an attractive cottage in Lake Oswego, I imagined who my sole remaining supporter might be. Perhaps a comely Oregonian answering the portal in a Rudy jersey? Perhaps not, but no matter! The encounter would doubtless leave my reinvigorated for our next match!

Instead, I got one of the region’s ubiquitous doughy, bald fellows.

“So you are the one who has been reading!” I said undeterred. “I thank you for the support.”

The door-dweller's eyes flashed in recognition, but he cocked his head skeptically.

“My bloggings!” I prompted with a knowing smile.

“Ah!” the man shook his head in demurral. “No, I’m a Nuggets fan. My wife set our browser’s homepage to your blog to tease me.” 

Further words were exchanged. I do not recall them.

Retreating to my auto, I felt two centimeters shorter. If only I could avert my eyes from my own situation! I was thus reminded of the travails of the Earl of Uxbridge at Waterloo. After his ninth steed was shot from under him, the Earl’s luck changed...for the worse! A load of grapeshot smashed into his right knee and the Earl cried out, “By God, sir, I've lost my leg!”

His companion removed a telescope from his eye and said, “By God, sir, so you have.”
Fotos from Getty Images and Tara Jane.


  1. Great writing, Rudy. It's incredible you are able to write with such eloquent humor after a tough loss, and in English, no less. As a Blazer fan, I feel for you and all the guys. It must be demoralizing to have so many injuries (including to you) and continue to suffer them even in the playoffs (see Nicolas Batum).

    I must wonder, though: is this really Rudy's writing or a hoax? If it really is Rudy, I must say you're multi-talented and could easily have a promising career as a professional blogger after you're done playing ball.

  2. Many thanks to you for the words of kindness. And no concerns...these bloggings are as genuine as sangria-flavored Kool-Aid!

  3. Rudy, I just want you to know that I still wear your jersey with pride. Don't loose heart even though so many people are quick to attack you. I hope to hear some ru-dy chants soon :] and will continue to support yah. Best of luck tomorrow, I'll be watching on kgw sporting number 5.



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