EL BLOG ILUSORIO DE RUDY: Spheres of Activity & Buttered Popcorn

2.4.10

Spheres of Activity & Buttered Popcorn

A difficult day. I just concluded a conversation with my paramour in which Cristina shared that she grows tired of my year-round basketballing.

Why? She claims it is a bore.

To which I replied, “Boring? But basketball is life on the wing! What other sphere of human activity calls forth all that is most noble in men’s souls, and all that is most base? Or has such excitement? Or more vividly exposes our strengths and weaknesses? Boring? You might as well say that life itself is boring!”

There was no response, and I am not sure how much of my speech she heard. (Which is most unfortunate, as I was most pleased with the “sphere of human activity” line!)

Adición: When word reached our locker chamber of the April Fools prank played on Kenyon Martin, there were some smiles. A member of J.R. Smith’s entourage filled Martin’s auto with buttered popcorn. This was an unfortunate choice, as the car’s interior was white!

Martin was so enraged, Martell Webster said he “threatened to get Orville Redenbacher on someone’s ass”!

3 comments:

AnonymousApril 2, 2010 at 9:38 PM
Orville Redenbacher on someone's ass... lol, awesome
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AnonymousApril 3, 2010 at 10:06 PM
yeah rudy- sometimes women whom we love (or just people in general), just really don't understand basketball.
my love jokes that its all about "penetration" and "scoring"... sex jokes basically... we both have a good laugh over that!
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AnonymousApril 13, 2010 at 10:11 PM
Nice pic of the Birdman.

On anyone else a lip cufflink would just look silly.
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"El Blog Ilusorio": In the Orbs of Others!

Rudy's Hypothetical Rules of Basketball

1. In ten years, nobody will remember the details of score, assists, or rebounds. They will only remember who won them a chalupa.

2. Any shot worth shooting is worth shooting twice.

3. When not shooting on offense, you should be communicating, passing, and running. Also, yell “Foul!” repeatedly. Why? How can officials summon help if you yell “Good D!” or “Our opponents are superior!”?

4. If legitimately called for a foul, say, “A good call!” (Do this no more than once a game.)

5. When in possession of the ball, have a plan. Further, have a back-up plan, because the first plan won't work (unless you are Brandon Roy).

6. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. (Both Oden and Pryzbilla provide these in abundance.)

7. On defense, ignore words and direct your eyesight to the ball. (Opposing Cleveland, LeBron James told me he would pull up for a jumper. I advanced upon him. Then James drove baseline with great speed. Both of my ankles gave way!)

8. The faster you begin an opponent’s blow-out, the more shots everyone will get.

9. Be polite and professional to everyone you play against. Then destroy them, for they wish to defeat you.

10. Practice shooting in a dimly-lit practice area with someone shouting unflattering threats at you. (I found this useful in Europe, where partial power outages were not uncommon.)

11. You may feel sad about snapping another team’s back with a clinch alley-oop or a clutching 3-pointer. But sadness is preferred to losing. And the winning will then bring happiness. (In the case of defeating the Lakers, the happiness will be most pronounced.)

12. Purple is not my color. (It may not be anyone’s color.)