Making mockery of Sergio's hair is an enjoyable activity. This is not cruel! He is my best friend. But some people never seem to have a good haircut. And Sergio is one of these.
But the NBA has worse examples of the hair. Joel Pryzbilla calls Drew Gooden of the Bulls "Recede Wallace." I do not know what he calls the beard. (Greg Oden says that Gooden "has the face of a satirical rogue.")
This Gooden came by his hairlessness naturally, unlike the five Monks. You know the Monks? They donned black monk robes and formed a band in the 1960s. They were so popular in Germany and Spain, I heard them on the radio in Majorca. Here, these Monks display "tonsures." That is the word for a haircut where only the top is shaved. This is a haircut I now enthusiastically encourage Sergio to try.
If you are not familiar with the Monks, it is fixable. Each Trail Blazer gets to select music for home games. My turn awaits. Soon, when my mates take the floor at the Rose Garden, the Monks will blare. It will be their song, “Monk Time." It is from their album, Black Monk Time. First, there is the sound of feedback and a banjo. Then. the words:
All right, my name's Gary. Let's go, it's beat time, it's hop time, it's Monk time now!
It is my hope that the Monks will inspire our victory. It is also my hope that Sergio will have a tonsure for this celebration.