EL BLOG ILUSORIO DE RUDY: Shooting the Records and a Petit Mal

12.2.09

Shooting the Records and a Petit Mal

Sergio is a good-humored man, yet it is a rarity to see him having "lost it." But that was the eventuality when he saw this image of Joel Pryzbilla taking a charge last night.

I saw Sergio's shoulders shaking from behind. My belief was that he was having a petit mal. Concerned, I came and saw tears on his face. Amazed, I saw his infection of laughter! When asked what was so funny, he could only point to the photo. It is amusing, yet Sergio's chuckles now bordered on the hysteria.

After my thinking was that he had regained his senses, I asked what all the comedy was about. This only set him off again! Go on and figure it.

In more sensible news, our friend, Jose Calderon, recently missed his first free throw after 87 consecutive makes. This was only 10 short of the all-time NBA record. ¡Felicidades!

As for me, my sinking of a 3-pointer in 29 straight games has made a match of the rookie record for these shots. (This locks me in a tie with Chicago's Kirk Hinrich back in 2003-04.)

Adición: The news of the good is that I did break the rookie record last night in our match against the Warriors. The news of the unfortunate is that we lost the game.

A Final Observation: Despite his stalwart appearance, Corey Maggette apparently has hollow bones! There is no other explanation for how dramatically he plummets to the ground after the lightest of touches. Without calcium supplements, a compounded fracture is in his near future.

1 comment:

rambartusFebruary 12, 2009 at 10:30 AM
Rudy,

Thank you for your hilarious blog posts! I laugh myself silly reading them each week. I'm glad you came to Portland and hope your stay here is full of longevity.

Regards,
Ramone
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"El Blog Ilusorio": In the Orbs of Others!

Rudy's Hypothetical Rules of Basketball

1. In ten years, nobody will remember the details of score, assists, or rebounds. They will only remember who won them a chalupa.

2. Any shot worth shooting is worth shooting twice.

3. When not shooting on offense, you should be communicating, passing, and running. Also, yell “Foul!” repeatedly. Why? How can officials summon help if you yell “Good D!” or “Our opponents are superior!”?

4. If legitimately called for a foul, say, “A good call!” (Do this no more than once a game.)

5. When in possession of the ball, have a plan. Further, have a back-up plan, because the first plan won't work (unless you are Brandon Roy).

6. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. (Both Oden and Pryzbilla provide these in abundance.)

7. On defense, ignore words and direct your eyesight to the ball. (Opposing Cleveland, LeBron James told me he would pull up for a jumper. I advanced upon him. Then James drove baseline with great speed. Both of my ankles gave way!)

8. The faster you begin an opponent’s blow-out, the more shots everyone will get.

9. Be polite and professional to everyone you play against. Then destroy them, for they wish to defeat you.

10. Practice shooting in a dimly-lit practice area with someone shouting unflattering threats at you. (I found this useful in Europe, where partial power outages were not uncommon.)

11. You may feel sad about snapping another team’s back with a clinch alley-oop or a clutching 3-pointer. But sadness is preferred to losing. And the winning will then bring happiness. (In the case of defeating the Lakers, the happiness will be most pronounced.)

12. Purple is not my color. (It may not be anyone’s color.)