EL BLOG ILUSORIO DE RUDY: Miracles of the Pork

7.4.09

Miracles of the Pork

With the season mounting in intensity, I must maintain mental and physical discipline. Only events of utmost importance can be allowed to occupy my thoughts!

For instance, José and his ham.

As noted (“Angel Pigs”), José Calderón owns a pig ranch in España. There his acorn-fed animals produce a ham known as jamón Ibérico de bellota. This miracle of the pork has the unique look; it is shipped with the pig’s cloven hoof still attached.

The black hoof signifies a high price; Sergio has noted jamón Ibérico de bellota costs $130 a pound! This price may soon double, as retaliatory tariffs between Europe and the U.S. sweep up José’s cured meats in the crossfire.

Sergio peeks at my blogging. “I love José’s ranch, but what do Spanish hams have to do with us?” he asks.

I give him the meaningful look.

“Oh!” Sergio grins with a realization, and he walks off dribbling three balls at once.

I call after him, “I meant the ham will give us playoff strength!” But Sergio just laughs.

4 comments:

7Bellotas®April 7, 2009 at 11:53 AM
we are artisans of jamon serrano, jamon iberico bellota ( acorn feed ). 7 Bellotas® jamones ibericos, iberian lions and iberico products are elaboreted 100% natural, made using traditional methods from Guijuelo. We are located 10 miles from Guijuelo, Salamanca, where we find best whether conditions to cured the best jamon serrano and jamon iberico ( spanish ham) of the whole World.

We glad to present our selection of spanish jamon serrano that can be present as whole ham, Sliced Vacuum Packs, boneless and others.

7 Bellotas © online was born to offer jamon serrano and jamon iberico 7Bellotas® at best possible price, we offers online store where to buy our jamon serrano (spanish ham) boneless ham and iberico products straight from us in Spain.

We are shipping Europe Union whiting 5 working days and the rest of the World within 14 working days. ( its allow to send boneless and Sliced Vacuum Packs into the USA, Canada and Japan)
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theSchonzApril 7, 2009 at 12:10 PM
You are a genius. I hope someone with lots of money realizes this at some point and pays you lots of money to continue this sort of thing (assuming that's not the case already!).

I am instituting a new daily routine and will now begin my "work" day with your readings. TrueHoop will have to be 2nd. Keep up the great work!
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IsaacApril 7, 2009 at 10:27 PM
Agreed, I read regularly, this blog is pure gold.
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Bart KingApril 8, 2009 at 11:03 AM
On behalf of faux-Rudy, I thank you for your kind words!
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"El Blog Ilusorio": In the Orbs of Others!

Rudy's Hypothetical Rules of Basketball

1. In ten years, nobody will remember the details of score, assists, or rebounds. They will only remember who won them a chalupa.

2. Any shot worth shooting is worth shooting twice.

3. When not shooting on offense, you should be communicating, passing, and running. Also, yell “Foul!” repeatedly. Why? How can officials summon help if you yell “Good D!” or “Our opponents are superior!”?

4. If legitimately called for a foul, say, “A good call!” (Do this no more than once a game.)

5. When in possession of the ball, have a plan. Further, have a back-up plan, because the first plan won't work (unless you are Brandon Roy).

6. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. (Both Oden and Pryzbilla provide these in abundance.)

7. On defense, ignore words and direct your eyesight to the ball. (Opposing Cleveland, LeBron James told me he would pull up for a jumper. I advanced upon him. Then James drove baseline with great speed. Both of my ankles gave way!)

8. The faster you begin an opponent’s blow-out, the more shots everyone will get.

9. Be polite and professional to everyone you play against. Then destroy them, for they wish to defeat you.

10. Practice shooting in a dimly-lit practice area with someone shouting unflattering threats at you. (I found this useful in Europe, where partial power outages were not uncommon.)

11. You may feel sad about snapping another team’s back with a clinch alley-oop or a clutching 3-pointer. But sadness is preferred to losing. And the winning will then bring happiness. (In the case of defeating the Lakers, the happiness will be most pronounced.)

12. Purple is not my color. (It may not be anyone’s color.)