EL BLOG ILUSORIO DE RUDY: Un Regalo de Agradecimiento

9.3.09

Un Regalo de Agradecimiento

Pau Gasol and his Lakers come to Portland for tonight's match. This is my first visitation with my friend since All-Star weekend.

To properly thank Pau for assisting me at the Slam Dunking competitions,

I obtained this gift raiment in XXXXX-Large. Ha!— I Laugh Out Loud! I await his reaction with anticipation.

(In Pau's defensability, he protested in the strongest language concerning the judges' slam dunk scoring.)

5 comments:

Matt GigerMarch 9, 2009 at 12:32 PM
You cannot even trust a countryman who plays for LA.
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AnonymousMarch 9, 2009 at 2:43 PM
BK: El Ilusorio Blog de Rudy is nothing short of inspired comedic genuis (and informative!). You have the voice nailed. Kudos grande!!
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UnknownMarch 9, 2009 at 8:50 PM
Rudy, your blog officially just beat out Shaq's Twitter as my favourite NBA internet presence.

Hope you and Sergio continue to have what seems to be a rad time together in Portland.
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UnknownMarch 9, 2009 at 8:52 PM
Rudy, your blog just beat out Shaq's Twitter account as my favourite NBA internet presence.

Hope you and Sergio continue to have what seems to be a rad time on the Blazers together.
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AnonymousMarch 9, 2009 at 8:55 PM
I think I speak for the whole city when I say that we love you and we hope you get out of that neck brace right away.
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"El Blog Ilusorio": In the Orbs of Others!

Rudy's Hypothetical Rules of Basketball

1. In ten years, nobody will remember the details of score, assists, or rebounds. They will only remember who won them a chalupa.

2. Any shot worth shooting is worth shooting twice.

3. When not shooting on offense, you should be communicating, passing, and running. Also, yell “Foul!” repeatedly. Why? How can officials summon help if you yell “Good D!” or “Our opponents are superior!”?

4. If legitimately called for a foul, say, “A good call!” (Do this no more than once a game.)

5. When in possession of the ball, have a plan. Further, have a back-up plan, because the first plan won't work (unless you are Brandon Roy).

6. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. (Both Oden and Pryzbilla provide these in abundance.)

7. On defense, ignore words and direct your eyesight to the ball. (Opposing Cleveland, LeBron James told me he would pull up for a jumper. I advanced upon him. Then James drove baseline with great speed. Both of my ankles gave way!)

8. The faster you begin an opponent’s blow-out, the more shots everyone will get.

9. Be polite and professional to everyone you play against. Then destroy them, for they wish to defeat you.

10. Practice shooting in a dimly-lit practice area with someone shouting unflattering threats at you. (I found this useful in Europe, where partial power outages were not uncommon.)

11. You may feel sad about snapping another team’s back with a clinch alley-oop or a clutching 3-pointer. But sadness is preferred to losing. And the winning will then bring happiness. (In the case of defeating the Lakers, the happiness will be most pronounced.)

12. Purple is not my color. (It may not be anyone’s color.)