EL BLOG ILUSORIO DE RUDY: Los Testículos de Carlos Boozer Han Descendido

31.3.09

Los Testículos de Carlos Boozer Han Descendido

In anticipations of my birthdate on April 4, Sergio brought a celebratory cake by my home.

I thank you, El Chacho. Be assured, you will get many unhappy returns on this.

Even so, it is possible the bone fragments might provide me added calcium to ward off the back spasmings that come to me from out of the blues. The team trainer gave me a massage, but I could not play in tonight's matching against the Jazz.

So I gestated in the Jacuzzi and viewed my mates play on TV. But reaching for a bottle of water in the tercer período, I clearly missed a court occurrence as Joel Pryzbilla suddenly stormed into the chamber of lockers!

"Have you been exiled from the match?" I asked.

The Jacuzzi's bubblings mixed with Joel's sulphurous oaths made understanding difficult. But amid his incomprehensible Midwestern profanities was a matter concerning a lost $2,000. (Aha, the price of two technical fouls!) Also mixed in were comments about Carlos Boozer's dropped balls. (Yet surely Boozer's testes descended long ago?)

I suppose I must watch the incident on replays!

Pryzbilla getting evicted photo by the Oregonian.

3 comments:

AnonymousMarch 31, 2009 at 8:16 PM
feliz cumpleaños :D
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AnonymousApril 1, 2009 at 5:54 AM
Feliz Cumpleaños!
Espero que tengas un cumpleaños fenomenal!
Bueno suerte con los partidos!
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22baylorApril 6, 2009 at 3:25 PM
Rudy: Buena suerte y ojala que se mejore pronto. Feliz cumpleanos tambien!

Muchas gracias Bart - S.
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"El Blog Ilusorio": In the Orbs of Others!

Rudy's Hypothetical Rules of Basketball

1. In ten years, nobody will remember the details of score, assists, or rebounds. They will only remember who won them a chalupa.

2. Any shot worth shooting is worth shooting twice.

3. When not shooting on offense, you should be communicating, passing, and running. Also, yell “Foul!” repeatedly. Why? How can officials summon help if you yell “Good D!” or “Our opponents are superior!”?

4. If legitimately called for a foul, say, “A good call!” (Do this no more than once a game.)

5. When in possession of the ball, have a plan. Further, have a back-up plan, because the first plan won't work (unless you are Brandon Roy).

6. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. (Both Oden and Pryzbilla provide these in abundance.)

7. On defense, ignore words and direct your eyesight to the ball. (Opposing Cleveland, LeBron James told me he would pull up for a jumper. I advanced upon him. Then James drove baseline with great speed. Both of my ankles gave way!)

8. The faster you begin an opponent’s blow-out, the more shots everyone will get.

9. Be polite and professional to everyone you play against. Then destroy them, for they wish to defeat you.

10. Practice shooting in a dimly-lit practice area with someone shouting unflattering threats at you. (I found this useful in Europe, where partial power outages were not uncommon.)

11. You may feel sad about snapping another team’s back with a clinch alley-oop or a clutching 3-pointer. But sadness is preferred to losing. And the winning will then bring happiness. (In the case of defeating the Lakers, the happiness will be most pronounced.)

12. Purple is not my color. (It may not be anyone’s color.)