When Weak Sauce Meets Ink and Lank

Last night, we lost our match against the lords of our division, the Denver Nuggets. At a given point in the game, I took a drive to the basket. There I was met by Chris Andersen, a Nugget with an abundance of ink and lank.

Off-balance, I lofted a shot. But even while doing so, I winced, for my shot attempting was covered in what Violet Palmer called “weak sauce” (see “Iberian Charms). And my weak sauce was then blocked with great vituperation by Andersen.

My objections to the play are two-folded:
1.) The blocked ball bounced directly off my visage with great forcefulness, yet no foul was called on the play!
2.) Andersen then preened and pretended to comb his hair afterwards. This pretense was offensive; the fellow’s overuse of hair product insures no need for a comb.

Upon my return to the bench, Greg Oden gave a reassuring smile and stated Andersen “is open to incontinency.” Indeed! (Sergio was less supportive, claiming that he could see the image to the right stenciled on my face.)

As for me, I feel that if the Nuggets insist on boorishness, so be it. But even as I nurse my whiplash, I have no wish to feast on grapes of sourness, nor other unripe fruits. (And a tardy thanks to LaMarcus Aldridge for his defense of my face's honor on our following possession!)


  1. Us (Blazersedge) at the Agency by PGE park saw the ordeal. Glad that Aldrige put one in on the next attempt. The "Bird" and I quote via Dannielle, "Is a douche"... lol.

  2. Oh Rudalfo. I think you may have received a concussion or a contact high from the Birdman.

    The Oden that you think you saw there was just an illusion !

    See the doctor stat!

  3. Ugh, what a disgusting man. Rudy, I'll have you know I stopped watching the game after the refs didnt make the call on that foul.

  4. This is an absolutely incredible blog.

    It deserves to be disseminated as far and as wide as basketball fandom goes.

  5. Reading some comments on many of your older posts, it seems your readers certainly do not exhibit a lack of credulity. Never before have I witnessed such a concentrated amount of naivety among such a staunch oregonian fanbase.

  6. Birdman looks like he should be running a meth lab.

  7. Funny you should say that about the Birdman given his lengthy suspension for X.

  8. Foul???

    Watching carefully, the only foul on that play that could possibly be called would be an offensive foul for "warding" or wiping-off, with the off hand. Andersen never touched Fernandez, and hitting a dude in the face with the ball, in the course of play, is not a foul in NBA or international basketball.

    Birdman owns. Great blog Rudy!

  9. no foul,not even close. If the ref called it "weak sauce", then you know it was pretty sweet. Rudy just got decimated by BIRDZILLA!


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